Eve of Christmas Eve

It’s the eve of Christmas Eve and this year has been a tough one…in fact the past two or three years have been tough. I wear a mantle of sadness that I cannot shake. My 39 year marriage has fallen apart and in April my husband is moving to Indiana. We part friendly but it leaves an emptiness in my heart and soul. I am not feeling sorry for myself…I wear the mantle of sadness not depression. I am blessed in many ways and I know it. Each day I remind myself of my blessings. I want to do so much; heal the hurts, bring a smile to someone’s face, capture the rare picture of delight in someone’s eyes…there is so much pain and sadness in the world and making it right begins with one…that one should be me but I don’t know where to start. I tend to gather the cloak of solitude around me when I'm hurting and then I am so comfortable in it's protection I don't want to shed it.